Numbers 11:15 - If you treat me this way, please kill me right now, if I have found favor in your sight; and don’t let me see my wretchedness.”

Generated Verse: Numbers 11:15

What does "Numbers 11:15" mean?


This verse, Numbers 11:15, is an expression of profound despair and anguish spoken by Moses to God. Let's break down what it means:

"If you treat me this way...": Moses is overwhelmed by the immense burden of leadership God has placed upon him, specifically the constant complaining and dissatisfaction of the Israelites. He feels completely inadequate to handle their needs and grievances. "This way" refers to the continued pressure and the sense of being utterly responsible for a people he can't satisfy.

"...please kill me right now, if I have found favor in your sight...": This is the key to understanding the verse. Moses isn't just complaining; he's at a breaking point. He feels like he's failing God and the people. He believes it would be better to die, especially if he still has God's favor. He reasons that if God still loves him, God would understand his inability to bear this burden any longer. In essence, he's saying, "If I'm still pleasing to you, God, then release me from this misery."

"...and don't let me see my wretchedness.": This highlights the core of Moses' despair. He fears witnessing his own utter failure. He doesn't want to live to see himself completely collapse under the weight of the responsibility. He equates continuing in this role with becoming a spectacle of incompetence and misery.

In essence, the verse is a cry for relief from unbearable stress and a fear of utter failure. Moses, feeling inadequate and overwhelmed, believes that death would be preferable to continuing to lead the constantly complaining Israelites and potentially becoming a failed leader in the eyes of both God and the people.

Important Considerations:

Hyperbole: It's essential to recognize that this is an extreme statement born out of extreme duress. It's a hyperbole meant to emphasize the depth of Moses' suffering.
Leadership Burnout: The verse offers a powerful illustration of the immense pressure leaders can face, especially in difficult circumstances. It’s a poignant example of leadership burnout.
Context: It's crucial to read this verse within the broader context of Numbers 11. The Israelites are craving meat and complaining about the manna God provides. This adds to Moses' frustration, as he feels he is constantly managing their ingratitude and dissatisfaction.
God's Response: God doesn't grant Moses' request for death. Instead, God provides a solution by sharing the burden of leadership by appointing seventy elders to help Moses.

In conclusion, Numbers 11:15 is a powerful expression of desperation from a leader at his breaking point, pleading for relief from an unbearable burden and a fear of personal failure.